I'm not kidding. So...let me explain.
I've been unemployed for a couple of months, and today I went to the local WorkForce Center for a Creative Job Search class (lots of great info, but that's actually beside the point). So...like... 10:30 am or so, we had a break. I got up, walked into the teeny, tiny women's bathroom and saw.. A DUDE!!! Not only did I see a dude, I saw him facing away from me (thank the dear Lord), pissing away into the toilet. His pants were down around his ankles (what? that's gross!) and his white, dimply ass was mooning me through the open stall. Needless to say, I was sorta... well... dumbfounded and speechless (those of you who know me will understand just how profoundly I was affected if speechlessness was the result). I turned around and started to walk out. Then I thought, "Eff that! I have to go right NOW!" So, I walked past the "Pissing Moon Man" into the next stall, and as I glimpsed (against my will) his dimply, slightly hairy, flat ass, I said,
"Dude. Do you not realize that this is the women's bathroom?!"
And then he was all, "What?"
And then I was all, "DUDE!!! This is the WOMEN'S BATHROOM! So finish up and get OUT!"
Lots of shuffling and zipping and coughing ensued. Then he left. Without washing his hands. WHAT???!!! He was holding onto his JUNK!!! And he didn't wash his HANDS!!!! AGH!!!
Anyway, I took care of my business, washed my hands, and then went back into my class. Totally freaked out.
This morning, I saw a strange dude's ass. And I lived.