So, we knew that this episode was going to be a doozy based on the ending of the last one. You know, where the nerdy kid got sick, coughed all up in the big vat of water, died and then turned into a walker? Yeah, I thought you remembered.
Cripes, where do I begin?? How about with the carnage. So…the nerdy kid is a walker now…and he’s all stumbling around D block looking for a snack. I bet you thought that hottie Karen was gonna be that snack, didn’t you? Well you’re WRONG! And so am I, truth be told. I totally thought she was gonna buy it in the bathroom. But no. She manages to make her way back to her room-cell and goes to sleep. And as an aside, Walker-Nerd was making walker noises! The “uhhhhh…aaaaahhhh..guuuhhhh” noises that they tend to make? He walks RIGHT by Karen’s cell and she doesn’t HEAR? Yes, I know you think you’re in a safe place, Karen, but you are living in a world full of walkers!!! No way in hell would some part of my brain not be running my ear-holes regardless of how safe I thought I was. Anyway, I digress. He stumbles into some other dude’s cell and takes a great, big chomp out of the dude’s neck, conveniently rendering him unable to scream for help. Now, here is another aside. People’s skin doesn’t tear that easily!! You can’t just walk up to someone’s neck, take a bite and then expect shit like esophagus’s and tracheas to come flying out. I’m sorry!! *sigh*
Oh, and by the way, did I mention that some crazy fuck is feeding rats to the Walkers??! Well, they ARE!
Glen takes a polaroid of Maggie. You know what THAT means, don’t you?? One of them gon’ DAH!!! Usually the picture taker is the survivor and the picture take-ee is the dead one. We’ll see…
Carl tries to get his gun back. And Rick tells him “NO, bitch! Be a farmer! I can’t stand that hat!”
I’m sorry… I forgot to mention that Michonne sprained her ankle doing…what now? I can’t remember.
Back inside the prison! CHAOS AND MAYHEM! Two kids (one of whom is delusional and creepy), one bit dad and Carol make for a bad recipe. It ends exactly the way you think it does. Dead dad and a Carol-driven knife through the BRAIN! The people we know and love survive and the vast majority of the Woodbury leftovers die. But then we knew that was gonna happen. Anyhoo, the prison finally gets cleared out of dead snackers.
Meanwhile, the virus spreads. People are looking more pale and sweaty than usual. We now discover that it is something sorta like Pig Ebola. It’s bad. Real Bad.
I’m pretty sure that halfway through the show we know that the delusional, creepy kid is the one feeding rats to the walkers. I’m pretty sure she thinks that the Walker Love of Her Life is Justin Bieber. STUPID BITCH!!
Walkers are crashing the fence. Lots of them get stabbed through the brain by angry, dirty, zombie-juice covered adults. It’s not working. Rick has a plan. He decides to take innocent piglets and feed them to the Walkers. I could totally understand that if he had a plan BEYOND THAT!!! But he doesn’t. Because Rick doesn’t roll that way with the long term plans and shit.
MICHONNE HAD A BABY!! Seriously. Can we not see this when that flat-headed baby named Judith (what the hell kinda name is that??!) starts crying. Michonne gets all motherly and weird. Then she gets all “don’t come at me with that baby!!”. And then she’s all “I’m holding this flat-headed white baby and I’m crying right now!”. Because she totally, at some point, had a baby that was clearly eaten by Walkers. Or not.
Carl is a little douchebag. As you recall from the last episode, he caught Carol teaching kids how to defend themselves and stab people in the brain. Because Carl is a douchebag, brain-shooting, crappy-hat-wearing little dink, he tells his dad. And of course, Rick, being the self-righteous assclown that he is, is all “You ratted someone out??! Carl, I can totally trust you now! Here’s your gun and try not to shoot any innocent kids IN THE FUCKING BRAIN!!!”
And then Rick, after burning down the piglet home, takes out his own gun and puts it on his hip.
And OH NO!!! Tyreese brings flowers to his woman, and finds a trail of blood leading to some burnt up bodies!!!!