So. Today at work. We were doing inventory and I was in charge of a thing called a "scissor-lift".
Being "in charge" meant that I had to drive it.
So I crawled my fat ass up there and then my temp helper, Kirsten, climbed up behind me.
I looked at her and I said, "Ok, we're gonna go up."
I pressed the trigger down, pulled the stick back and we shot backwards at 500 mph, hair whipping in the wind.
Alas, the switch was flipped to the right.
Fortunately, I screamed and let go of the stick before I took out a rack of stuff.
And maybe some people.
Then we started laughing our *asses* off!
So *then* I said, "Ok. Now we're *really* going up!!"
And we did.
After we were up there for a bit, I said "Hey, I'm gonna move us forward just a titch so we can hang these tags where they belong."
So I pressed the trigger down, pushed forward on the stick and the next thing I knew I heard a ...
"BOOP BOOP BOOP!!"
We plunged to the earth, BOOPING all the way.
Switch flippage was to the left at this point in time, much to my dismay.
Again, I screamed and let go of the stick before we hit bottom and blew the cartilage out of our knees.
And again, we laughed our *asses* off! I actually had to drape myself over the bars I was laughing so hard.
Although Kirsten didn't go belly-over-the-bar like I me, she did have to lean on it.
People were staring. We didn't care.
We got shit done.